I wanted to show you this beautiful book mark tatted by my cousin. I will always treasure this and will be a constant reminder of how much I love my cousin.
DO YOU THINK THAT ALL OF YOUR QUILTS AND ITEMS YOU MAKE ARE TREASURED BY THE PERSON YOU GIVE THEM TO?
Sometimes I feel like I am "Casting my pearls before swine".
Remember that is a parable and the people I give things to are not swine.
Do you think they really appreciate all of the hard work that has gone into it?
Even if I sell my items for less than what my time and supplies cost....at least I know the person really wanted it.
NO EGG THROWING PLEASE!!!
I do know a person that made this beautiful wall hanging for her best of best friends. She was so excited to give it to her but.....do you think that wall hanging is on the wall?
You are right....NO!!!!
When you make something do you get the proper thanks for it? Listen, I want to hear squealing.....I want the earth to shake.
Having said that, some people just don't show emotion. I remember making my mother in law a dress one time. The only way I know she liked it was when she immediately threw it over her clothes. She showed no emotion except for that one act.
So.....what do you say? Maybe fifty percent of all people appreciate what you make for them?
Now....as for myself, I know what goes into making an item.
My sister in law made me the cutest pillow (she crossed stitched it). It eventually wore out and I cut out the cross stitch to preserve it...can't find it but I know how much work she put into it.
All I know is that many times I hear bloggers and friends (which most are bloggers) say that they would rather give an item away than sell it for nothing...... WHAT SAY YOU?
23 comments:
I do think that we become attached to something because we know the time that has gone into making something. We all HOPE that the recipient will love what we create, but let's face it....sometomes they don't. Maybe their decor changes and it doesn't "fit" in anymore. I have a really wonderful afghan that was a gift. I love it, but the colors do not fit anywhere. I keep it in a basket (hidden), but grab it when I need it.
The tatted bookmark is lovely. A treasure!
I want squealing or oooohing or something to let me know it is loved. If I go to their house, I would LOVE to see it in use.
I gave my great niece a doll that I made on her birthday. She looked at it and tossed it "in the pile of presents." I didn't think she liked it. *(but she was one year old!) The next time I was over, she was dragging that baby with her everywhere. Her mom said " She never puts it down" --My heart sang!
The truth- I would rather sell something inexpensively and know they want it, than give it to someone who doesn't appreciate it.
You are so right. I have cross stitched beautiful pictures, framed them and given them away never to see them again. Likewise with my quilted works. Better to sell them and know they are appreciated. I, myself don't buy things I don't like.
I understand what you are saying here. People who do not quilt, or do any kind of needle craft, do not have any idea of the cost or time invloved in making an item. I have sold a few quilts and honestlhy, I felt guilty taking money....I prefer to give my quilts away to people I know (think) will appreciate them. Quilting is an addiction (an expensive one) but I am hooked so lots of friends and family will get quilts....
I don't think the recipient of a hand crafted item has any idea of the effort, thought, time, cost or emotions that went into that gift. Unless maybe they do the same craft.
Well, personally, I never give anything to someone that constantly ASKS for it. And I never give anything to somebody that I don't think will use it. Of course there are exceptions. Like baby showers, wedding gifts, graduation gifts. I don't like being taken for granted & I have STOPPED giving handmade gifts because of that. It hurts my feelings to have poured my heart/blood/seat & tears into something only to have it be trashed. So I make everything for ME. If I decide to give it away it's because I have something I like BETTER to take it's place.
Sam
I totally understand what you are saying, that is one reason the quilt I'm making for my 17 year old nephew is just a rag quilt made out of denim that was given to me and flannel I bought at a thrift store, because I know he'll appreciate the gift but not treasure it, but since I'm making a quilt for his sister I needed to make one for him too. I know there are some of my friends that I will never make a quilt for because they won't appreciate it yet I have some friends that I know will treasure it.
Most of the items I make (knitting and quilting) are given to charities because I got tired of family and friends not showing appreciation for my labors. Now, I know the items are going to those who have little and will use and appreciate them.
It always warms my heart to give a gift I have made. I made homemade items nearly every year for Christmas for many many years. Since my family lived away, I often found out years later that they didn't fit or went unworn. But that was ok, I had the fun of giving and doing.
Great post!! I have had this discussion with quilting friends and we have all given quilts away never to see them displayed or used in the peoples' houses or worse mistreated by kids or animals! (I hand stitched a wool pillow and was told that their dog loved it and carried it all around the house all the time! YIKES!! All that work flashed before my eyes!!) My friend made a baby quilt that was never used...not even as a decoration in the baby's room (wrong colour??) We came to the conclusion that we should stock pile our quilts and when showing them to those you love, if you hear a squeal of delight then it is safe to give it to them! If you hear a nothing then don't offer...
Have a wonderful day!
I hand piece and hand quilt, cant afford even a cheap sewing machine right now. I have made over 200 quilts and given them ALL away. At the time i was working and could afford fabric batting and backing. Most went to church raffles, cancer awareness, and pediatrics at the local hospital. These people really expressed their gratitude. But the ones i gave to friends and family? That is a different story. If you hand piece and hand quilt, you know how much time you put into one quilt. These friends and family i loved somuchto give them partof myself, have for the majority sold or given them to someone else. Then had the nerve to ask for another one!!! My income is less than $400.00 monthly for disability and none of these people have offered to buy fabric, batting, backing or even thread! I have cancer and chemo is not going well. And they still want to know if i will make them another quilt.
I am sorry for going on like this but it really hurts me down to my soul that something i put so much time and effort in means nothing to them. None offer to drive me to chemo, the grocery or anywhere else i need to go. Im shuttin up or i will just keep going. Barbara babscorbitt@ gmail.com
i love to give gifts, but am careful who I buy for and who I make for. At big parties such as showers, I buy gifts . At a baby shower I would give a $30 or $40 gift, but if I were to make a quilt, it would be valued around $100 just for the supplies. Not going to happen. Now this will change when it's my kids having kids or my niece and nephews. I have made costumes and pillow cases for my cousins' kids and they loved them and used them to pieces. I'll make them more pillow cases in the future as long as i find the perfect fabrics for them.
Bottom line, it's got t be my choice, I don't ever want to be pressured into making something for someone, anyone.
Barb, is the bookmark tatted by hand? Is that still a hand done art! It's beautiful
And this brings me to this topic: I'm glad I read your blog today, Barb, because today I mailed out two homemade aprons to individuals - both different styles. As you know - I "do" aprons: I love aprons, I wear aprons, I love to make aprons, I love giving aprons away....which leads me to this: Do the people I send an apron to really like aprons, do they really want an apron, is the apron worn or even appreciated. Just because I adore aprons, it certainly doesn't mean others do. So why do I give so many aprons as gifts, as thank-you's and even as "just because's". No easy answer. Bottom line: I will ALWAYS love aprons.
I once spent ages making a quilt for a person whom I thought would love and cherish it. About 6 months later she asked if I could make another because she was tired of it. Need I say more?
Barb, this is such a good point that you make. A few years ago I did make things for friends that we socialize with and in all honesty they did not seem overjoyed by my gifts. So I stopped making them and give them a generic gift from a store they prefer.
Now. My kids are another story. If you were to enter their homes you would see my quilts on their beds, quilt ladders, table toppers on their tables, wall hangings on their walls, decor made by me all over their homes including the rugs I made them. So I just make things for them and I gift my nieces a bigger quilt every couple of years. I think that people who are not generally crafty may not know the work in entails nor the cost.
It is so good that You are blogging again.
lovely little book mark... and that is obviously appreciated.... I think unless someone does hand work themselves they can't know the work gone into it.... one can only hope they love the item.... As far as selling I think it would all depend on the motivation for making them...
Hugz
I have only made one commission quilt and while I received a fair price for the quilt, I am not sure I would do it again. I have given away most of the 100 bed quilts that I have made ( where would I keep them all LOL) and someone once said to me that once it leaves my hands that it belongs to the other person to do with it, what they will. I have received beautiful cards including the only card that my father ever sent me on his own,( my mother buys or makes all the cards in their house) and other times, I have received little acknowledgement for the gift. Sometimes I know that they are well loved and other times I wonder why I didn't just give something I bought from a store. Mostly I try and think of the joy that I got from making the quilt and remind myself it is no longer mine- it belongs to the person to whom it has been given. In the beginning it was hard to give away my quilts- it was like giving away a little piece of me. Now it is just part of my quilting experience. Quilting feeds my creative spirit and I make quilts because I want to- It is hard sometimes when others expect a quilt - That is the challenge I face these days. This summer we have 4 weddings - 3 of which are family events. I have made the other nieces and nephews quilts so it is only right that I make quilts for the next two that are getting married. It is going to be one busy quilting summer..
I think only people who create something (whatever it is) know the work, effort and time that goes into making something.
I don't think people realise just how much work goes into the smallest project!! Hours and hours and it is so discouraging when people do not appreciate it! It is such a shame!! At least your cousin knows how much you like her tatting - it has gone round the world!!
We have a term with our quilt friends. We determine if someone is "quilt worthy." I have a friend who has been determined NOT to be quilt worthy. I've been told by this friend to make quilts for her kids and grandchildren. No one but a quilter knows what goes into making a quilt, especially if you are like me and hand quilt. The money is only a part of it. I have made new baby quilts for grandchildren of good friends but it takes too long to make a quilt to just give them to anyone. Certainly not to someone who has been deemed not "quilt worthy." It's MY choice, and I don't want to be pressured or made to feel guilty.
I only give hand made gifts if I am pretty certain that the gift will be to the recipient's taste - they picked out the fabric or pattern, or expressed a desire for something similar. So far I have been very lucky, but then, I know my family's taste really well and they tend to be VERY appreciative. The charity quilts I give away I only hope will be used, loved to death is preferable, but used will do. :)
I've read that giving a meaningful gift to someone usually makes the gift-giver feel closer to the recipient, but not the other way around. It's sad, but that's the way it is.
My two cents,
Susan in Texas
Hi Barb,
I tat too, and would treasure that bookmark forever. I am like you, it becomes harder to give things to people who don't appreciate them. I remember when my brother was first married and I made a quilt for them. His wife was not very appreciative, and he quickly let her know that the quilt was to be treasured. Recently, I sent her a quilt that my mom made--and when I asked where it was, she said she put it away so that her son could have it when he gets married. That made me happy--to know that she has learned.
I'd rather sell too--even if it isn't as much $$ as my time.
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